Wednesday, 23 December 2009

God Bless us Every One

This year, Open sent a special present to the mums and kids of the Wakhan corridor in north eastern Afghanistan. This region suffers the highest maternal mortality rates in the world and one in three children born there die before their fifth birthday.

Our money will help fund a new mother and baby project run by Mountain Unity. You can find out more abut them at or check out their youtube channel at

Happy Christmas everybody. See you in 2010.

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

A site made just for Tim

Tim loves to read business books. Or, to be more precise, Tim loves to read the first fifteen pages of business books and then talk about them at length in meetings on the (fairly safe) assumption that nobody else in the room made it to page 16 either.

This site, however, removes the need for him to read more than a single page. Hurrah for Kevin Duncan!

Monday, 21 December 2009

No Rest for the Wicked...

It feels like Christmas, doesn't it? Yet we still have two appeals to create and a mountain of data to crunch. Still, at least we have cheap fairy lights and sellotape.

Monday, 14 December 2009

The F***ing Nutters – An Update

Long-term readers (both of them) might remember this post about my friend David, his family and their bonkers relocation plan. Well, just to keep you in the loop, they just won the prize for Best Short Film at the prestigious Kendal Mountain Film Festival. It's dead short so why not watch it? Then visit them here and give them a few quid.


Friday, 11 December 2009

Ice work if you can get it

Today found all of us, our spouses (where applicable) and most of our children (we managed five) in Trafalgar Square to see the launch of the Ice Bear Project or 'Bear in the Square'.

Working with the good people at Tag, we have campaigners there for the duration, a text-response thing and all the usual fun...

Even better, Richard (right) got to unveil our newest gadget – the bluetooth broadcast machine.

This handy unit can be easily pram-mounted (as shown below) to enable hands-free nerding by Tim and Tobin from WWF. And, as I write, it's tirelessly seeking out and talking to all bluetooth enabled phones within a 350 metre radius of Trafalgar Square and encouraging their owners to sign up to the campaign.

This rare afternoon out was a symbolic start to our biggest project yet – WWF's Earth Hour 2010 – and came a day after we won our biggest account yet. More on that when the official announcement is made.

So at the risk of repeating ourselves, we're looking for writers, designers and account managers to help us do all kinds of cool stuff like this. Applications to please.

We really are going to need some help...


Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Mind the Gap

If your interests include maths and social justice (and as a charity direct marketer they should) then you'll probably find this site quite the most incredible thing you have seen in years.


Friday, 20 November 2009

Giving Words

As WJR (currently waist-deep in donations) have discovered, when you ask for more than money, you get more of everything.

Monday, 9 November 2009

Monday, 2 November 2009

Get Packing

This week marks the end of a very special campaign in North London - Operation Winter Survival. A campaign that has seen thousands of people donate warm clothes, toiletries and children's toys to communities across Eastern Europe.

We went to help out. That's Mark folding a lovely pair of trousers. The day was great fun. People laughed, mainly at me. I got the bag of big (actually they were huge) bras – oh the joy.

All day, volunteers arrived at an enormous warehouse stacked to the ceiling with donated goods. Each bag carefully opened, sorted and neatly packed ready for dispatch.

It was earlier this summer that WJR asked us to develop this campaign, and to turn an event that generated a lot of bin bags full of 'unwanted' goods into a campaign that delivered good quality warm clothes and crucially new supporters.

The trick was plenty of plain speaking (if it's too old and worn for you, it's probably to old and worn for us), lots of engagement opportunities (we asked people to send messages of support) and a commitment to capture details of all participants both on and off-line.

It struck me a while ago that my relationship with the charities I support has become confined to a passive world of Internet banking, where the only 'warm glow' I get is from the reflection of my First Direct home page, telling me yet another month has gone by, another round of regular gifts quietly leaving my account.

But today was different. I, like thousands of other people, had become actively involved. And of course this level of engagement is reaping rewards far beyond the mountain of donated goods.

It's of no surprise that cash gifts and registrations this year are already more than double than ever before.

We're proud of this one. And WJR are still looking for unwanted jumpers. Deadline date 8th November.

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Didn't we have a blog?

I think James was hinting at something when he shouted this across the office this morning. But we have been a tad busy recently – doing planning and a mountain of creative for one mighty big campaign.

Yesterday saw the launch of Action for Children's appeal to get the nation to take action for the 1.5 million children who wake up every day to experience neglect.

Over the past few months we've met the staff on the front line who work with these kids and heard stories that tear your heart out – like Katie who was spat on at school because she didn't get a bath at home and 5 year old Ellie who stole sugar from the local cafe because she was so hungry.

We've also had the pleasure of working with Baby creative (who do AFC's brand work) our new neighbours DTV (who made the Davina ad) and media masters JAA (who persuaded Channel Four to create a break in the news yesterday to air this three minute masterwork).

And the pace shows no sign of slacking – hence this rather brief post.

Normal service will be resumed when James has time. Thank you for your patience.


Monday, 21 September 2009

We Are One

It was a year ago to the day that we sat in Tim's back bedroom and registered our company. Some highlights since then...
  • The whole Brisbane adventure with Pareto. So near and yet so far.
  • Getting our first teeny tiny office – thanks Justin and Steve.
  • Hiring Louise and Rebecca. Salary bill looking scary.
  • Working with Richard Young again.
  • Winning the VSO account (more on this later).
  • Registering for VAT but forgetting to add it to invoices – sorry Andrea.
  • Hiring Emma, our Finance Director. No more VAT cock-ups.
  • Winning WWF's Earth Hour (we danced all the way back to the station).
  • Getting our second, much bigger office. Overheads Climbing.
  • Poaching Mark (sorry Scope).
  • Hitting the streets with Centrepoint (thanks Roger & Jenny)
  • Packing boxes for World Jewish Relief.
  • Hanging out with the good people at various Action for Children projects.
  • Richard Young the younger being sent to us by the gods of design.
  • The whole Arctic Monkeys & Oxfam thing.
  • Losing the VSO account. Doh.
  • Poaching Sinead (sorry Bluefrog).
  • Filling our client list mug rack.
  • This afternoon's celebrations.
Thank you to everyone who believed.

James & Tim

Friday, 11 September 2009

The Cheese and Onion Will Change Your Life

'Read widely' is one of the most often-repeated hints for people who want to 'be more creative' and advance their careers.

Now I read a lot – no worries there. But the 'widely' bit trips me up. I tend to assume that 'widely' means psychology, business and politics instead of novels. But actually that means I read a lot of stuff that falls pretty much in my personal goldfish bowl.

Fortunately, when I'm not reading I watch some telly. And at the moment I'm hooked on House – so hooked in fact that I decided that I wanted to read something about clinical medicine. This in turn brought back to mind a conversation with a very charming junior doctor who, when I asked her, told me that doctors do indeed have a 'cheat' book that they consult all the time. It's called the Oxford Handbook of Clinical Medicine or, in the trade, the 'Cheese and Onion' in homage to early editions' green and yellow covers.

So I bought it. And, contrary to what you might think, it is the most amazing, bonkers, insightful, useful, out-there book I have read in years.

On page three, it talks about what ideals are:

"Like stars they're hard to reach but helpful for finding your way in the dark."

Then it teaches you how to interview and leave space for people to talk:

"If you interrogate a robin, it will fly away. But tree-like stillness may bring him to your hand."

Then it gives you a three-day programme to help you genuinely empathise with people who are dying.

All of the above happens before page seven – although I have to admit the type is pretty small.

Along the way it mentions Sod's Law and provides a cross reference to page 436 where (after a quote from Damon Runyon) it explains, by way of epidemiology, why even 50:50 odds aren't all that they seem.

As you can tell, I am – after only a few hours exposure – slightly in awe of this zen-master style Haynes Manual of human frailty and interaction. But frankly, you could tear the latter 95% of this book's pages out, re-title it "How to be much, much less of an arse" and it would still be a bargain at £19.99.

Buy it. You will not be disappointed


Thursday, 3 September 2009

Do I smell?

I donate to a number of charities. Some of them I support because I know the people who run the projects, some are projects I have visited, but the majority are charities that simply found me, and asked me.

Now what really is beginning to wind me up is how few of these fine organisations have bothered to contact me again and tell me what the hell is going on. I know we all bang on about donor stewardship but despite all the evidence and research why are so few organisations bothering? And trust me, I'm getting fed up of being ignored.

The answer I suspect is simple. Money.

We have to face up to the fact that it costs to keep people giving. But the question we have to answer is how much are we prepared to spend. I've seen charities spend more than they actually save - which isn't difficult when you're forking out 27p just for a stamp.

Of course on-line offers us a glimmer of help. We're running a significant programme for BHF where donors and prospects are kept busy each month with on-line actions and activities, but they are blessed with a file rich with email addresses and a website rich with content. For other charities I support it's not always the case.

Sadly I know for a fact that eight of them don't have my email address. Their fault. They didn't ask me at the point of recruitment. But when we know that a 10% drop in attrition from a file of 5,000 donors will generate thousands of pounds, it's got to be worth rethinking our programmes. Especially as we now know that this is easily achieved through good on-line stewardship.

Getting my correct email address has to be a priority. I don't understand why someone hasn't just called me: "Hi Tim, we don't want any more money, just your email address. We want to show you how your money is making a difference. We've got some great pictures, a report, some analysis, a child's drawing (whatever) and wanted to email it over to you". I'd give them my address like a shot - and thank them for the call.

And it wouldn't cost much. It's quick and easy.

In fact none of this should cost much. We're working on programmes that are cost effective, simple to implement, immensely engaging and highly demonstrable.

So maybe soon I'll stop feeling ignored and start being involved - or maybe I should just go and have another shower.

Thursday, 27 August 2009

Sticky Situations

It's been a busy couple of weeks what with Tim being away so I hadn't thought about this blog until yesterday – when a nice man (or probably a nice computer that generates messages) told me that we were one of the Top 100 Fundraising Blogs. They even gave us a little medal made out of HTML.
It saddened me for a moment that, in the unlikely event of someone looking up the Top 100 Fundraising Blogs and clicking through to us, they would actually see a catalogue of our puerile adventures with a non-erasing whiteboard. So I vowed that I would write something useful about fundraising forthwith.

Sadly, at that point, I got a call from one of our clients to tell me that someone very famous and well-loved was prepared to front their Christmas Appeal – provided they could see copy soon. Like tomorrow.

So between six and ten o'clock last night I wrote a Christmas appeal. I hammered together the charity's best case study and most motivating proposition in the manner of the celeb in question. And do you know what? It was pretty good.

So there's some useful advice. If procrastination or confusion troubles you, set yourself a stupid deadline and just bash it out. You probably know what's needed – you're just thinking too hard.

Anyway, having got that out of the way, I can proceed to what I was going to write about in the first place. It's a book called Made to Stick that was recommended to me by Michael Newsome at Action for Children. It's all about why some stories 'go viral' while most of what we produce is forgotten before people even finish reading it.

Like all the best American business books, it has a handy and desperately corny mnemonic to help you remember its wisdom. So for all of you out there who can't be bothered to read it, click on the image at the top for a handy summary. Try it. It really works.


Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Whiteboard Paint. Another Warning.

Having scrubbed off your childish drawing with a brillo pad, make sure you check the effect of shining a projector onto the cleaned area BEFORE any client presentations.

Monday, 10 August 2009

Whiteboard Paint. A Warning

Two hard-learned pieces of advice for you all.

1. This product is rubbish. It doesn't work. Don't buy or use it.

2. If you choose to ignore point 1 and paint an entire wall of your office with it, don't draw a five-foot version of the first childish & stupid thing that comes into your head to 'test' it.

Tuesday, 4 August 2009

Feeling rather proud today...

Last September we set up Open to 'bring the right people together to change the world'.

Earlier this year we met with the lovely people at the Domino Recording Company. Shortly afterwards, we met with them again and brought our friends from Oxfam along with us.

On August 17th, The Arctic Monkeys will release their new single 'Crying Lightning' exclusively through independent record stores and one national retailer. I think you can guess who...

It's a fantastic idea and a fantastic story. It brings together art, charity, the state of our high streets, recession, you name it. It's going to be big.

Was this our brainchild?
No. It actually came from Domino while we were throwing ideas around in our first meeting.

Did we do all the work?
No. We walked away as soon as the deal was in place.

Did we bring the right people together to change the world?
We like to think so.

Sunday, 26 July 2009

Read all about it. Soon.

On August 3rd or thereabouts, there will be a big story in the national media about charity and music. We will say 'we set that up' and you probably won't believe us.

You heard it here first.

Saturday, 11 July 2009

Nuclear Scare

I am in one of my favourite places on earth – Kirksanton in Cumbria. I’ve been coming here to stay with friends for ten years now and my children (see above) now love it even more than me.

When the Lake District National Park was created, this little pocket of land was excluded because it was home to an ironworks that would have been prohibited under national park rules. The ironworks closed in the 60s but nobody moved the boundaries – which is a bit of a pain because RWE has now bought a farm here and wants to build a nuclear power station on it.

Ironically, this will entail removing the wind farm that I can see from my window and, tragically for my friends who run a place here offering farm holidays for disabled people, replacing it with a great big reactor.

The whole community is pulling together in opposition and, as far as I can see, the whole plan to build a nuclear power station on cheap greenfield land (as opposed to next to Sellafield which is half an hour up the road) seems extremely dodgy. It makes you wish Paul Foot was still alive – or that George Monbiot would get stuck in.

In the meantime, this was one of Kirksanton’s contributions to the local scarecrow festival.

Friday, 3 July 2009

Don't mention the recession...

There has been much debate recently about whether or not charities should mention the recession in appeals. Despite much 'evidence' to the contrary, we instinctively thought that they should. So we did. In fact, we wrote an emergency appeal all about it.

As a result, one of our clients is now £190,000 (or 316%) over target.

No, it wasn't a split test. But it was a cracking letter and the money flooded in. I guess it's all in the delivery.


Wednesday, 24 June 2009

A Bird Made of Gold

Children say the stupidest things, don't they? And as if you needed it, here's some more proof.

We asked some of the kids at an Action for Children family centre how they would say thank you to someone who had done something special to help them. And what did they say? They said that they would send them a bird made of gold.

Now as we all know, the proper way to thank a donor is with a poorly-written glorified receipt from someone with 'administrator' in their job title. But do kids care about the proper way? Do they hell! In fact, to compound their silliness this lot only went and made a picture of this so-called gold bird.

Unfortunately, Action for Children are sticklers for authenticity so we now have to send a photo of this monstrosity (modeled here by my daughter for reasons of confidentiality) to their donors. I shudder to think how they will react.

I share this only in the hope that others will learn from our mistake and keep thanking where it belongs – in the hands of professionals.


Friday, 29 May 2009

What a Pair of F***ing Nutters

This is David (who I met on my Masters degree course at Bristol) with his wife Angharad and their son Charlie. Although they look as if they're on their way to a fancy dress party they are in fact moving to Afghanistan. Hence the title.

This is how David, a former news cameraman who also served two tours in Afghanistan with the army, explains what, at first glance, seems a rather odd lifestyle choice.

"We're going to live in north east Afghanistan for the next five or so years to promote and develop the return of tourism to the area. The Wakhan corridor has some of the best climbing in the world, it's remained completely trouble free and the local people really want to see tourists return.

"In July four Afghans will attempt to climb the country's highest mountain – which will be an historic first. If we can help provide the right media coverage of this achievement it will be a unifying event for the entire nation just as the success of the Afghan cricket team has really brought people together. This might seem like just too small a gesture to make a difference but the BBC's correspondent in Kabul told me that this is the only good news he will cover in Afghanistan this year. And that makes it important.

"Afghans are renowned as much for their hospitality as for their ability to repel foreign armies. It's about time the world paid more attention to the 99.95% of Afghans who aren't in the Taliban."

Angharad, who is a paediatric nurse, will also be helping to run a healthcare and development projects for local women.

So not quite such a pair of nutters after all. I for one can't wait to see what happens and I suspect that David's blog will make our intermittent drivel seem even less enthralling.

You can find out more at their website. And if you want to bung their project (which is a registered Community Interest Company) a fiver a month until it becomes self-sustaining then their bank details are:

Account Name: Mountain Unity International
Account Number: 76056341
Sort Code: 60 17 24

What a pair of f***ing heroes.


Tuesday, 26 May 2009

That feels better...

This one doesn't really need much explanation. The idea came from the wonderful Shormeh Omaboe at Centrepoint, Open wrote and designed it in a couple of hours and our friends at Total Media did a brilliant job of sticking it where it hurt the most – in Sunday's Telegraph.

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Thank You

I've just received a thank you letter. It was in response to a small upgrade gift to a charity that phoned me the other day. I've been supporting them for a number of years. 

As I said, it was only a small increase. £5 a month to be precise. They wanted £10. And boy did the caller make that clear.

When I opened my mail this morning, it was as if the echo from the caller's disappointed and tired voice had found itself trapped in a C5 envelope. A mechanical, dreary, 'acknowledgement' of my gift with a whisper of a thanks. I could see the authors forced smile as she attempted to say something nice to me.

It really saddens me when we don't invest time in thanking donors properly. Sure, if you ask people if they want to be thanked, they'll probably say no. After all who would publicly acknowledge such a need. "Don't worry about little me. Save your money."

But it's rude not to thank and lazy not to do it properly.  

We should want our donors to feel needed, loved, appreciated. This should be a hug not a punishment. 

I recently briefed one of our writers to produce a thank you letter.  I simply showed her this bit of film. I'd like this in an envelope please.
What ever we think of Operation Christmas Child. This is good, donor-led,  fundraising.

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Under the Influential

Until 2007, Professional Fundraising's Top 50 list was, without a shadow of a doubt, a meaningless parade of shallow self-aggrandizement. Then, suddenly, it became a vital barometer with its finger firmly on the pulse of the sector.

At least that's what I told my mum, who was absolutely made up to see her son appear in a real magazine in a list that said 'influential' at the top and also included Joe Saxton. I mean the Prime Minister.

Sadly, I suspect that the 2009 Top 50 will see me depart back to richly-deserved obscurity. But thanks to Derek Humphries, an exciting new name will appear – perhaps even on the top spot.

I'm talking, of course, about 'The Donor'.

Now I'm all for donors influencing fundraising. But I do worry that this campaign will lull the sector into a false sense of security. Because the Top 50 is meant to be a list of people who DO influence fundraising. Not people who OUGHT TO.

I'm not saying that 'The Donor' should be excluded. I'm just saying that if 'The Donor' goes on the list then they should probably go on along with 'The Chief Executive', 'The Chief Executive's Spouse', 'The Most Junior Fundraiser in the Department', 'The Poorly-Conceived and Ruthlessly Enforced Brand Guidelines' and 'That Bloke Who Complained'.

You see, these have all, at one time or another, been more influential than the donor when it comes to making the ask. And while this is not a universal phenomenon, it seems unfair that 'The Donor' should get all the credit.

So let's vote for her (or him) by all means. But only on the condition that if she (or he) does top the chart then we spend the coming year making sure it's a well deserved win.


Saturday, 25 April 2009

Time for Action

My bike was stolen on Wednesday. I didn't feel particularly angry with the 'lanky curly haired' teenager who stole it. Nor the group of guys who watched it happen and kindly gave me such a useful description of the crime.

I hope my bike has made someone very happy. Helped them get to work in the morning.

What did surprise me was the emotional attachment that I placed on the bloody thing. "I've taken all my children to school on it" I heard myself tell the police when asked the make and model – "matt black" I quickly corrected myself.

In my mind this heap of steel and rubber was developing a personality of its own. It had been a trusted friend. No, more than that, it was part of our family.

I found myself getting irrational. They say that a Tory is a liberal who's been mugged. This wasn't theft. It was abduction.

That afternoon I was with Action for Children who told me about a five year old girl who turned up hungry to school every day. Her mum gave her money to buy crisps from the cafe but she was too scared to ask so she 'stole' sugar from the table instead. That was her breakfast.

I forgot about the bike.

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

The Smell of Fear. And Varnish.

We've just moved into a new office. The smell of fresh floor varnish is thick in the air which is doing nothing for my mental stability.

This psychological wobbling is compounded by the fact that Tim and I have to personally underwrite the value of the entire two year lease. I always thought that once you were a limited company you didn't have to worry about personal liability but it seems that neither landlords nor bank managers think that way...

Thankfully, we have retained the services of a Financial Director. This is a crap photo of her on the sofa (we haven't made it to Ikea to get her a desk yet).

Her name is Emma Jinks and she has a reassuring track record of working with several startups who have both avoided going bust (hurrah!) and made some money.

Emma was also the driving force behind the restoration of Art-Deco treasure Embassy Court in Brighton – where she lives and was relaxing happily until we turned up and made her feel sorry for us.

We count ourselves very lucky to have persuaded her to work with us part time. Now we just need some more clever people to fill up all this space...

Friday, 13 March 2009

Getting it Right (Part 2)

I love Comic Relief. Every two years, I give them a load of cash and then sit down to be emotionally destroyed for the evening.

I don't really watch for the comedy which, aside from the occasional gem, is crap. What I love is the way that Comic Relief make everyone, including me, cry about things that really warrant crying about.

As a fundraiser, I also feel a little bit envious. Because Comic Relief don't mess about. The formula is simple. Find a brilliant story, make people cry, show the solution and then make people feel like heroes if they give. Five minutes. No holds barred.

The 'computer says no' school of what can and can't be said or shown is conspicuous by its absence. Want say a child with malaria is 'doomed'? Fine. Want to show a child having febrile convulsions? No problem. Want to show a child dying of Malaria? Get the parents' permission and knock yourself out.

And that's exactly what they did this year. And I'm glad they did. Because for all the tokenism, the enforced jollity and the inevitable appearance of Annie Lennox, Comic Relief rubs all our noses in the misery that is the mirror of our rich, comfortable lives. And I love them for it.


Thursday, 26 February 2009

Getting it Right

Sometimes it just works. Sometimes, people do exactly what you hope they will do and they do it with such charm and enthusiasm that you wish you could give them a big hug.

That's what happened with this wonderful person when she signed up to WWF's Earth Hour as part of a campaign we're working on with Gift.

If only she'd been signed up by one of our bears...


Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Bear with us

It's been a long time since our last post. And if things go on like this, it may be a while before the next one. So to bring you up to speed, since Tim's slightly idiosyncratic job ad all those weeks ago...

1. We've offered one of the smartest fundraisers we've ever met a job . He said yes and starts in April.
2. We've hired a brilliant project manager called Rebecca. She prefers to be called Wiggy.
3. We've lost the Centrepoint Room Sponsor pitch to The Good Agency.
4. We've both been ill. Fortunately not concurrently.
5. We've been using an Art Director called Sandy. She worked at Apple in California and does stuff for Howies. We are in awe.
6. We've had a nice article written about us by our friends at Harvest.
7. We've completed seven appeals with the help of our wonderful freelance team.
8. We've worked ourselves silly and had a great time.

We've also, as you can see, dressed our children in polar bear suits. More on how this relates to a rather brilliant project will follow at a later date.

Thanks for watching.

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Open is recruiting...

It's been a crazy couple of months but things seem to be working really well and it's now time we expand.

There are a number of positions that we need to fill so, in no particular order, we're looking for...

A data analyst proficient in Access, SQL and with a proven record of building propensity models using both on- and off-line data sources. It would be good if you have experience tracking and modeling affiliate and third-party traffic. Not to worry if not.

Experienced fundraisers who feel completely confident developing and managing complicated integrated campaigns. We really need you to have a good sense of how to get the most out of the wonderful web. Ideally you'll have cracked how to recruit new donors, cost effectively at volume, on-line. This will save us an awful lot of time working out how to do it!

A graduate first jobber. Someone who wants to join a new company that is absolutely committed to developing campaigns which will change peoples lives and make the world a better place. You'll need to be a fast learner, want to get involved in every part of the business, have a real 'can do' attitude and be what my mum would call 'emotionally intelligent'.

We are also looking for an account manager to start right away. Today would be great. You'll get to work on a brand new on-line venture, which will bring beneficiaries and donors together, as well as a mass participation campaign for a leading national charity. This is a three-month contract.

Full job descriptions are available. Just send me an email – – and I'll get right back in touch.

Competitive package, exciting company, lovely people...

Just one rule. No passive aggression. 

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

To all you web 2 type people...


Please, please, please tell me how on earth you find time to live on planet web. The anxiety that built up within my sensitive soul this Christmas almost sent me over the edge.

When would I find the time to update my Facebook status? And what of any interest would I have to say? Don't even get me started on this bloody blog.

So desperate was I to share my 'oh so exciting life' that I even attempted to climb the Great Orme. Wouldn't that be the best?

"Tim is on top of the world' or more accurately "Tim is carrying three furious kids home". No reception. Damn.

Eventually, at long last I found a few spare minutes. Very, very surreptitiously I sneaked my phone out of my pocket, sitting in the car, with Nicki speeding down the M1, and the millionth Peppa Pig episode on loop in the back, I loaded up Facebook. Now was my time.

But then it happened. My mind went blank. I got world-wide stage fright. I HAD NOTHING TO SAY.

I turned to Nicki, looked at the speedometer and then inspiration hit me. Hallelujah "Tim is going fast".

Happy New Year all you crazy web 2 type people.